Feminine Energy
I've had several passages in my life when I felt truly connected to my feminine energy, but the first time I can remember really feeling it in a full way was in my late 20’s. I was a mother by then, my daughter was four at that time, and I was in a relationship with a man who really cherished and adored me.
I had chosen a belly dance teacher that I felt really connected with and she encouraged me to be performing, so I was really devoted to developing my art and my creativity. And I had a women's circle who got really interested in tantra together, so we started taking tantra classes and going to workshops as a pod.
I had my first weekend immersions around sexuality with the Human Awareness Institute so I was studying a lot about sexuality at the time. Along with all of that, my Goddess path was really lighting up for me. I was in ceremony regularly, and I was being asked to teach and to lead ceremony.
So, I had a lot happening all at one time that gave me a fully felt expression of my feminine energy.
What Sensuality Meant to Me Then,
and What it Means to Me Now
In the past sensuality for me was a lot more about experimentation, especially with things to do to be able to feel sensual. For example, going to sexuality workshops or having a pod of women with whom I did boudoir photo shoots together or going to nudist communities to spend time in nature in the nude.
So, there were a lot of things that I went to do to feel sensual or to have an expression of my sensuality, whereas today I feel it in a more embodied way. I don't feel a need to do something to get to that feeling, but rather the feeling is alive in me and I access it readily and easily.
And while I still enjoy doing all kinds of things that are related to sensuality, I don't need to go do things to be able to be in my sensuality…it's now a lived experience in my day to day life.
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* If you feel called to explore your relationship with your natural eroticism, my Authentic Sexuality course is designed for exactly that. You can find out more and register via the button below. *
Reclaiming My Feminine Power
There have been many moments in my life where I really had a huge reclaiming of my feminine power.
The first really potent one would have been the first time I worked with a shaman. I was 24 at the time and I had become aware that I was carrying a lot of sexual trauma from my childhood. I was clear that I was going to need help to deal with all of that and I was guided to a shaman who did soul retrieval work. When I saw the description of her work, I just knew that I needed to have this healing with her.
Reclaiming the aspect of myself that had disassociated due to trauma and bringing that aspect back to myself brought a sweet, loving, innocent part of myself alive in me again.
Interestingly enough, doing that reclamation for myself personally connected me to a part of my medicine that informs the work I do with women now. So the power of that reclaiming echoed out into the power of my medicine.
What Feminine Energy Means, Beyond the Cliches
Feminine energy is multifaceted, which is different I think than the cliches would tell us.
In the cliche feminine is weak and passive and submissive, and I think those are distorted understandings of the softer side of feminine energy.
There's a tremendous amount
of power in vulnerability which is
different than weakness, and I think there's tremendous beauty in
learning to surrender which is different than submitting.
So, I think the words that are used
in a cliche way are inaccurate.
But I also think there's an energy underneath that they’re trying to get to.
Feminine energy is soft and lovely, it does have vulnerability and the ability to surrender. And it also has many other things, like: rage, strength, passion, fire, earthiness, groundedness, depth, and strength.
So I think it's difficult to call feminine energy any one thing because it is truly multi-faceted and there's a lot we can learn to bring each of those facets alive in ourselves.
How This Energy Shows Up in My Everyday Life
It shows up in my everyday life from the minute I wake up in the morning. I begin by being aware of how comfortable the bed feels and how good the sheets feel on my skin and how lovely it is to wake up and have a soft moment in the quiet. Then I get up and make myself a cup of tea or coffee and take the time to enjoy the smell of it and savor the taste of it. From there, I'm barefoot on the earth first thing in the day, with movement and stretching and dancing and singing to the Goddess. Everything rolls out in the rest of my day from there.
That often looks like feeling the power of Goddess energy flowing through me when I'm teaching or coaching, having a moment to enjoy a hug with a loved one, and pausing to really enjoy the taste of a meal. A big way it shows up is in being aware of my feelings and, when it's necessary, pausing to express them, whether that's to express how angry I am or to sit and have a good cry when I need to. It could also show up in sitting to quietly contemplate.
So everyday for me includes my beauty and sensuality rituals beginning with how I wake up and start my day, everyday for me includes being attentive to and attuned to my feelings and allowing them to express and move, and everyday includes connection with nature and connection with loved ones. And also…dark chocolate…every day!
How You Can Begin to Reconnect With Your Sensuality
The easiest way for you to begin to reconnect with your sensuality is to conscientiously feed your senses. I teach women to create what I call ‘a thread of sensuality’ running through their day, meaning there are things you're going to do at a variety of points throughout every day that start to create that sense of connectedness for you.
This should begin with an intentional morning ritual. You drink your favorite flavor of tea, you have lotions or face creams that have your favorite scent, you spend some time feeling your body through gentle movement. Each piece of this is something you take the time to relish. In addition, you make sure that your sheets and your nightwear feel good on your skin, listen to music that inspires you or opens your heart when you hear it, make sure there are beautiful things in your space…flowers, beautiful colors, beautiful drapes. Being attentive to those things is an easy way to keep your senses fed.
And if you're a woman who has a long full day of work ahead of you, make sure that your desk has beauty on it, make sure that you take a lunch break and you pause during that lunch break and appreciate the sun on your face or the wind in the trees. Take a break in the afternoon and take a walk through the park, connecting with nature.
These are some examples to draw from as you create a thread of sensuality that works in your schedule and with your lifestyle.
Creating that thread throughout your day and committing to it will help you start to build a relationship with your sensual pleasure and connect you with your feminine energy.
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* If you feel called to explore the beauty of your sensuality, check out my
Authentic Sexuality course via the button below. *
A Simple Practice to
Reconnect with Yourself
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Here’s a very simple ritual that will help you feel yourself in your body (ideally you would do this standing barefoot on the earth). Stand with your feet underneath your hips, hip distance apart. Bend your knees softly, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Place your hands low on your belly over where your womb space would be, and breathe in a way that you can feel your belly expand with your inhale and then flatten with your exhale. Keeping your hands on your belly, consciously feel the movement of your belly as you breathe. Then gently start to make a circle with your hips. Feel what it feels like to place your attention on your pelvis…your belly, your hips. Now, change directions and circle your hips the other way around.
For us as women, our pelvis is our center of gravity. It is also our power center. It contains our womb, which is the seat of our intuition and our creation energy. Simply connecting with that place can give us a beautiful sense of being connected to our deepest self.
You can enhance this ritual by imagining that you can draw the energy of the Earth up through your feet and into your pelvis. I like to imagine the Earth energy as a current of red energy that fills my womanly body with warmth and aliveness!
What I Want You to Remember About Your Feminine Essence
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I would love for every woman to remember that her feminine essence is natural to her, even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
The process of reclaiming that feminine essence is about removing all of the messages you were given about your body, your feelings, your emotionality, and your sexuality in the past. Any negative messaging that you're holding was something that was imposed on you from outside of you. It's not your true nature.
Your true nature is an upwelling essence from inside of you that was intact when you came into this world, and it can be something you feel again and live from in your life again. While the process of deconstructing and unraveling all of the negative messages can seem daunting in the beginning, it is doable. And you can have that.
Even simple rituals like running your sensuality thread through your day and standing bare feet on the earth rolling your hips in circles, can go far in connecting you with that true nature in yourself.
Living in the Fulfillment
of Your Desire
If you already know you want more of your sensuality and you crave a relationship that can meet you in a deeply sacred sexuality, my six week immersion, "Ignite Your Desire" offers teachings and coaching to support you to clear past pain and restore your sensual aliveness.​​
You were never meant to hand your deepest heart, your deepest desire, over to unconscious wounding.
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You were meant to consciously own them.
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You are meant to be Sovereign * Sacred * Sexual